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2019 Tour de Goose. Oh! My! God!

By Jeff Malmquist

Mesdames et Messieurs, It’s once again that time of year when TRL descends further into madcap mayhem. (Hah! You didn’t think that possible did you?!) Well, it’s Tour de Goose time and this year…it’s SERIOUS.

Tour de Goose has been a Lizard July tradition for over 10 years. It’s modeled after the Tour de France bicycle race in that there are stages, strategy and polka-dot jerseys. The Tour is unique among Lizard events in that you do NOT have to be a fast runner to win. Stealth, guile and smarts count just as much – if not more – than running speed at the Tour de Goose.

You don’t have to do every Stage; you can do as many or as few as you would like. Here’s the lineup:

Stage 1 The Guillotine Mile -Tuesday July 9 @ 6PM Duniway Track
Within your age & gender group, you bid the fastest mile time you think you can run. If you do it, great! If you don’t make it, off with your head! For example, let’s say there are 2 runners in your age/gender group. You bid a 6:15 mile, and your competitor bids 6:30. If you both make or beat your bid times, you win. But, if you don’t make 6:15 and your competitor makes their 6:30, then you lose your head!

After Stage festivities at Lair Hill Pub.

Stage 2 Trivial Pursuit Pursuit – Thursday July 11 @ 6PM at regular Goose start (corner of SW 19th Ave and SW Madison St.)

I’ll just say that running and answering trivia questions are involved here. After Stage festivities at Goose Hollow Inn.

Stage 3 Downhill Mile and Stage 4 Let Them Eat Cake Uphill Sprint – Thursday July 18 @ 6PM at regular Goose start (corner of SW 19th Ave and SW Madison St.)

Downhill Mile – Each runner will be assigned a mile time they can easily do. The winner is the one who gets closest to their assigned time. No watches allowed! Men and Women compete together.

Let Them Eat Cake Uphill Sprint – Run as fast as you can up a short, steep, lung busting, quad burning hill…while carrying a piece of cake. Don’t drop it!

After Stage festivities at Goose Hollow Inn.

Stage 5 Team Puzzle Challenge – Thursday July 25 @ 6PM at regular Goose start (corner of SW 19th Ave and SW Madison St.)

Runners will be divided into teams of 4 such that total team speed is about the same. Each runner in the team gets ¼ of the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Then, everyone runs the regular Goose route to Fairview Blvd. The first team to put their puzzle together wins.

After Stage festivities at Goose Hollow Inn. First drink will be on the club!

Questions? Contact Jeff Malmquist 503 866 0654 jmalmquist6974@gmail.com. Vive le Tour!

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